A week ago last Saturday, I gave my 1 month’s notice. Yay-yuh!
When I moved to Indonesia at the end of January 2016, the plan was to be here for 1 year until the end of January 2017. However, by the time JEXIT launches in a couple of weeks, I will have completed 10 months and a few days here. Occasionally, I think that I should feel bad for not keeping my commitment to stay for those additional 2 months, and from time to time I do feel a little bad. But mostly all I feel is happy that the end is in sight. To be honest, when I came here I had every intention of honouring my commitment to stay until the very end. But when I made that commitment, I was ignorant of the true nature of the place. So, no, even though I feel a little bad every now and then, I still gladly join the ranks of those who drop like flies from this place.
I’m happy that I’ve even been able to make it this far, considering that I was planning to bail at the 6 month mark by going for my vacation and never coming back. But, as you know, God told me to stay so despite my burning desire to go, I obeyed Him and stayed put. The intervening months have leaked by so slowly that I wasn’t sure at times if I would make it to this point.
If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you can probably guess at some of my reasons for leaving 2 months early. Of course, my living conditions factor greatly in my decision to go. I just cannot take it anymore. My cup has officially run over. The fact that I, I, who do not lose sleep over any little thing, am not sleeping well anymore says it all. The disrespect that I have had to endure here has also stayed with me, and although there have been no recent incidents of crazy directed towards me from the “boss” or the Big Boss (although I’ve seen their crazy train take out a bunch of other people), their singular display of disrespect and lack of professionalism have certainly not inspired loyalty in me. Therefore, I feel that I have sacrificed enough of my valuable time to them and this organisation; more than they deserve, actually.
But the thing that pushed me over the edge, the thing that was the deciding factor, was Christmas. I love Christmas. Love it. Love. It. With a passion. Christmas means something to me. In fact, it means too much to me to spend it in a place that I passionately dislike. Not Indonesia – never Indonesia – but this place where I live and work. By the time Christmas rolls around, I want it to be a distant memory that I only reflect on from time to time, not a place that I actually have to return to. And there is no way that I want to spend the beginning of a brand new year here. I believe in doing my best to begin my year as I mean to go on. Negative feelings are by no means the tone I want to set for my brand spanking new year.
Interestingly enough, when I gave my notice a week ago last Saturday, I was actually the second person to quit in a week. And although I wasn’t the first to do it, I was definitely planning it longer, since July, in fact. It took everything in me to return to Jakarta from my vacation, and I know I only came back and stayed as long as I did by the grace of God, not in my own strength. The other person who quit just before me has been here since August, so he lasted about 3 months.
It was the other guy who was assigned here in Jakarta. His issue was poor management of the organisation, plus I think he was just a really bad fit for this type of position. He quit on the Friday night that I was in Cirebon, hence my Whatsapp blowing up on Saturday evening. He gave about a week’s notice and someone else was transferred from another centre to this one to take his place. I think the “boss” saw that resignation coming because he was constantly in a struggle with the guy. Me, I just quietly went about my work and lowered the boom on him with no warning. I would be lying if I said it didn’t give me a little thrill to catch him off guard. Still, unlike others who have gone before, I gave him a whole month to get his act together and come up with a plan.
So the JEXIT countdown has officially begun. No, I don’t yet have another job lined up but I’m no longer worried, as I was a few weeks ago. God is guiding my steps, even when I don’t know where He’s leading me. And I know that He will open the doors that need opening for me when it’s time. I believe that He kept me in Jakarta for these 4 months beyond July for a reason, and I know He’s working things out.
The Lord says, “I will teach you the way you should go; I will instruct you and advise you.” Psalm 32:8a (GNT)